Penname: Devaigh [Contact]
Real Name: Dedra
Member Since: August 12, 2011
Membership Status: Member
Bio:
Gender: male
Twitter:
FaceBook:
[Report This]
Reviews by Devaigh
Metamorphosis by King Baka Rated: Salacious starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 376]

Summary:
Photobucket

"Sometimes in the winds of change we find our true direction." An unusual youkai attack transforms Kagome's very being. Can she come to terms with her new self, and can Inuyasha accept, perhaps even love, the new Kagome?


Categories: Legends
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango
Genres: Action-Adventure, Angst, Hentai, Romance
Warnings: Explicit Sex, Graphic Violence, Language
Chapters: 64 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 387448 Read Count: 42696

[Report This] Published: October 27, 2008 Updated: December 02, 2010


Reviewer: Devaigh Signed
Date: May 10, 2012
Chapter number: 64
Title: Chapter 64: Brighter than the Sun (Epilogue)

I waited as weel to write my review as I felt like I wouldn't do you justice. First off, I'll say that your story had me enchanted for a lot of it, I loved your ideas and your overall concept of the story. However I think there were a few issues. This might be just me and my opinion, but please don't think I'm trying to be mean.

I loved your concept of the Hanyou Kagome. However I think this storycould have benefited from being a full trilogy piece than one long tale. I admire your style and your drive to write such an epic but during a large portion of the story I fet like I was reading multiple stories. Personally I think that you could have divided the story in thirds and I would have completly believed it. 

After the death of the first two "Main foes" (I seem to have fogotten the names) the story makes a huge shift. Then there's the final battle with Naraku which can be set with the first part. 

It might be just me, but the first 20 or so chapters just don't relate fully (in my opinion) to the last half of the story. SO much happens that lik eI said, if this had been a series I think it could have worked. I know there are several places that you  said you skimped on details, and that might have helped.

I'm sorry if that didn't make sense, lol but I did enjoy your work. I have read a lot of your stuff.This took me a few days to read, but I'm glad I did. Thanks for allowing me to enjoy the ride.



Author's Response:

No offense taken at all; I don’t mind constructive criticism. 

Your suggestion does make a lot of sense.  Any time you talk about having such a long story, whether in written or film form, there’s something to be said for breaking it up into parts.  That said, just breaking it up would not have been enough.  When you do that, you have to craft the story so there are smaller mini-tales.  These also must have buildup, a climax, and a conclusion.  Perhaps less grand than the overall story arc, but nevertheless present.  I’m thinking of the Lord of the Rings trilogy as an example. 

So I would’ve had to write it differently from the very beginning, I think.  You’re also right that the first 20 or so chapters don’t relate to the second half of the story.  They weren’t supposed to.  Something happens when two people take the next step and enter into a relationship.  They go from just being friends and fighting Naraku to being lovers/mates/spouses and trying to plan the rest of their lives.  So I do see your point; maybe the line between the two segments of the story could have been made clearer. 

I think it was easier on the readers who were with me as I was writing the story.  For those who read it all in a couple sittings, the transitions must feel kind of quick at times. 

So I know it’s not perfect, but I’m comfortable with how it is now.  I’m glad you enjoyed the story despite the flaws. 

Regards,

KB



Kiss Me Goodbye by Kanna37 Rated: Salacious starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 12]

Summary:
"I wanted to protect her forever." The words Inuyasha spoke at Kikyou's death triggered a series of events that almost ended with Kagome willingly trapping herself in the jewel with Naraku - all to give the man she loved what she thought he wanted.
Categories: Fairy Tales
Characters: InuYasha, Jaken, Jii-chan, Kaede, Kagome, Kikyou, Kirara, Kohaku, Magatsuhi, Midoriko, Miroku, Mrs Higurashi, Naraku, Rin, Sango, Sesshomaru, Shippou, Souta
Genres: Angst, Divergence, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Psychological, Romance, Tragedy
Warnings: Language
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 26440 Read Count: 1250

[Report This] Published: September 23, 2010 Updated: October 16, 2010


Reviewer: Devaigh Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: August 16, 2011
Chapter number: 3
Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

That was...utterly beautiful. I loved every moment of this story. I felt it was far longer than the three chapters that it was but it was  well worth the read.

It's not often that I find stories that are well written AND completely satasfying. It was wonderful. I love your style and the elegange of your words. They really captured my attention and left me hanging over and over again. Please continue writing. I love your work. 

 



Soul Affinity by rapacious Rated: Salacious starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 23]

Summary:

Photobucket

Inuyasha begins to notice a distinct lack of ‘osuwaris’ coming from Kagome, along with other welcome changes in her attitude toward him. Around the same time Kagome starts seeing Inuyasha in a whole new way.

The path to the deepest and most abiding love is paved with empathy and understanding.


Categories: Fairy Tales
Past Featured Story
Characters: InuYasha, Kaede, Kagome, Kikyou, Kirara, Kouga, Miroku, Mrs Higurashi, Myouga, Sango, Shippou
Genres: Comedy, Drama, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, WAFF
Warnings: Mild Sexual Situations, Oral/Hand job
Chapters: 6 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 47510 Read Count: 2935

[Report This] Published: November 06, 2011 Updated: December 10, 2011


Reviewer: Devaigh Signed
Date: November 25, 2011
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I love the whole concept of this story and the writing style. It's quite beautiful. The ONLY issue I had is a rather simple one. I hated how everytime we saw a flashback, you "announced" it.

With such detailed writing, I found it to be very pointless. You lead into and out of each flashback beautifully, there was no need (in my mind) for the *flashback*. I felt it detracted from the story and dropped out of the moment. 

Other than that, beautiful work.  I loved it and I'm going to be watching this fic. I finished far too quickly with what you had posted. Please update soon! I'm anxious to see what happens next! 



Author's Response: THIS is exactly the type of feedback that is so very helpful to me!  I am actually revising this story to edit things like this and the fact that you pointed this out to me is very much appreciated!  I agree with you...the flashback thing is pretty redundent and unnecessary. and in fact, my husband said as much after I posted xD.  I should have listened to him but lazy housewife is lazy ROFL.  I shall be fixing the chapters that have it.  Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment and encouragement!  Chapter 6 is well under construction so stay tuned! :D