Reviewer: Thayet Signed
February 24, 2014
Chapter 12: Coming Clean
Yay I was so excited to see the new chapter. The scene with the clothes was adorable, especially followed by their inability to catch a break at home. I also really enjoyed the way you had Kagome tell Asami about their adventures in the past, especially with Inuyasha helping there at the end. I think it showed just how much they truly care about one another, it also seemed to help relieve Asami of some of her worries because she became able to put as much faith in Inuyasha as Kagome has.
Just a few grammar/spelling bits while they are shopping "Another round of giggles finally drew *InuYasha attention and he frowned." InuYasha's name needs an 's on it.
Also "“We have *you size now,” she said." it should say *your not you.
"“Keh, go grab something you like that you *knew I would never agree to wear,” he told her." *Know not knew.
"She covered her *mother with her hand as she giggled and then nodded." *mouth not mother.
"InuYasha she noted had his eyes closed and was taking deep breaths as he tried to recover from her assault." I would add a comma either after InuYasha or noted, although it's probably not necessary it might help the flow.
"He was taking slow deep breaths and she genuinely felt bad for him since she could feel just how turned on *her was and probably had as good of an idea as any woman ever had about what it felt like to be left hanging once a certain level of excitement had been reached." *he not her. Also a comma in that sentence might be a good idea.
I think that's everything. I can't wait for the next chapter keep up the awesome work. Author's Response: Thanks. I\'ll go back through this one agains since I clearly need to. I was just happy to have another one to post so I wasn\'t as careful. Glad you liked it. I was worried the clothes shopping while filler would be too tedious. I\'m glad it wasn\'t.