Reviewer: Selina MacCloveror Signed
May 15, 2009
Chapter 27: Settling Her Debt
Yay, summer! I'm right there with ya, and working is definitely better than school. Always.
Hmm...I'm wondering what you have up your sleeve with the whole tiredness thing going on with InuYasha and Kagome after they did the deed. I have an idea, but I shall keep my mouth shut for now and see where you take it.
The scene at the pond was pretty cute/flirty. I could see that little smirk on Kagome's face when she was looking over her shoulder at him; you're getting better and better at the imagery and descriptions. I is impressed, very.
I was suspecting/hoping you would have the Miroku/Sango kiss be something like that! I thought, "Nah, KB isn't going to let it go down like that!" And you didn't. *smiles* Which, by the way, very hot kiss. That rivaled your I/K one in the last chapter, but I'll have to go back and read it again just to be sure. Yeah, that's the only reason I'm going back to read that. >.> It is!!
Aww, softie InuYasha. Always a treat, LOL. I like that he's not being too harsh on Shippo, though; I don't like it when he's written as being overly stringent with him. I do understand the competition for Kagome's feelings, but seeing as how they're mates now, it makes sense that he knows he has her favor; the girl loves him, for goodness sake! The whole territorial thing can only go so far, and InuYasha is undoubtedly and naturally more mature after taking Kagome as his mate; he has to be! So I love what you're doing with his relationship with Shippo here; very befitting to character growth (and it just makes sense).
What a tangent! Okay, I'm done now. Awesome update! I'm looking forward to seeing what else you have in store! :D Author's Response:
Your idea on the tiredness is probably in the ball park; it's not really something that will come out of the blue if you've been paying attention. I'm glad you think my imagery and descriptions are improving. Some of it is just getting more practice writing narrative, and some of it also comes from reading other stories (such as yours) and mimicking what I see. I spend quite a bit of time every chapter just trying to come up with different ways to say things.
I agree with you about Inuyasha and Shippo's relationship. In the anime/manga, Inuyasha doesn't really treat Shippo that harshly. I mean, he bops him on the head sometimes, and picks him up by his tail, but it's not like he's abusive. Kagome would never allow that. There's not really a competition between them I guess, as they both occupy different niches in Kagome's life. But they both want Kagome to be happy, and that means getting along (at least most of the time). Ugh, now you've got me off on a tangent! I'll try to get next chapter out in a week or so, and maybe we'll get back to some action...