Penname: King Baka [Contact]
Real Name: Joe
Member Since: September 03, 2008
Membership Status: Member
Bio:

Greetings,

I'm a 27-year old lawyer from Connecticut, USA. My hobbies include fanfiction and strategy PC games. My favorite TV shows are probably South Park and the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I'm a lifelong New England sports fan.

My favorite anime series include Inuyasha, Samurai Champloo, Black Lagoon, the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, and Sword Art Online. I am a passionate writer, mostly for Inuyasha, and have done both long epics and short one-shots. Communities on Livejournal have really helped provide inspiration for the latter.

And yes, I am a man. I chose my username way back when in part to make the readers aware of that fact, since most fanfiction writers are female. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I also don't want to be lumped into a group that I don't belong to. My favorite fanfiction authors are all female, and I hope to live up to the lofty standards they have set.

I hope you enjoy my work, and if you have any praise or constructive criticism, please do not hesitate to leave a review.

Regards,
KB

Gender: male
[Report This]
Reviews by King Baka
My Futures' Past by bluezinthos Rated: Provocative starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 71]

Summary:

What would happen if Kagome's trip down the well was one way? There was no Naraku, no Shikon jewel and Inuyasha was a full demon because of his brother's deceit. Can she survive in a world 500 years in the past?
Categories: Legends
Past Featured Story
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Sesshomaru
Genres: Action-Adventure, Hentai, Romance
Warnings: None
Chapters: 20 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 83109 Read Count: 15186

[Report This] Published: January 28, 2007 Updated: October 06, 2008


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: February 01, 2009
Chapter number: 20
Title: Chapter 20: Healing Revelations

A very good story so far, but...I want an ending!  I like what you've done with the characters, especially Inuyasha.  He is definitely the dominant male youkai, but he never takes it too far, and knows when to back off and let others have their say.  He also has a human side, one that comes out more and more as he becomes closer with Kagome.  In this last chapter, he subtly told her he loved her ("Sesshomaru thought my father was weak because he fell in love with a human wench.  And he’s probably laughing it up thinking that I made the same mistake")  I was trying to figure out how Kagome didn't notice this.  Fatigue maybe?  Does he even realize it yet? 

Sango and Miroku are well-portrayed too.  Seeing Inuyasha and Kagome so happy together must be a shock, but they are handling it well considering their upbringings.  One wonders if Kagome will ever get to see her family again.  Anyway, I hope you eventually decide to finish this story, because I've really enjoyed it so far. 



Displacement by Drake Clawfang Rated: Salacious starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 73]

Summary:
Based on a collaboration with InuGrrrl. During an aurora over Asia, Inuyasha and Kagome leap down the well...and end up a few thousand years and miles out of place. Fanfic in a historical background.
Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahasi owns all these featured characters. I don't...yet. Gimme a few years.
Categories: Legends
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome
Genres: Drama, Romance
Warnings: Language
Chapters: 18 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 45773 Read Count: 3659

[Report This] Published: May 26, 2007 Updated: May 26, 2008


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: August 13, 2016
Chapter number: 18
Title: Chapter 18: "Yeah...I Know..."

I enjoyed this story. Some highlights for me were the backstory of Tetsusaiga and Tenseiga, as well as the historical aspect and how they preserved the timeline in the end, by allowing Ying Zheng to live. I also appreciated the evolving relationship between Inuyasha and his father, and how much their time together meant to Inuyasha.

The story did feel a bit rushed, particularly the second half. I think you could have taken it at a little slower pace and given us more detail.

I also would have liked to have seen more from Kagome. In the beginning she was smart, not trusting anyone but trying not to get on the wrong side of anyone either. She approached the new surroundings much more intelligently than Inuyasha did. But then she changed completely. It was really naive of her to start blabbing about the jewel shards and Naraku, etc. Even if she trusted Ryuchi, there was no reason for her to tell him all that (especially the jewel shards which could be stolen). Late-manga Kagome would know better. That part seemed to come out of the blue for her, so I don't feel that it did her character justice.

Despite my disagreements with Kagome's character, I still enjoyed the story. You wrote a fanfiction in the context of real historical events, which adds another layer of difficulty to the entire process. For handling the historical aspect well, this story gets high marks in my book.




Summary:
One shot, Inuyasha and Kagome. Just a little story of one New Moon night.
Categories: Fables
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome
Genres: Fluff, Romance
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1644 Read Count: 170

[Report This] Published: June 20, 2007 Updated: June 20, 2007


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: April 17, 2009
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

That's pretty good for the wee hours of the morning!  You've been reviewing so much for me, so I decided to check out some of your work.  Unfortunately, I have to go to bed early tonight, so your other stories will have to wait.  If they're as well-written as this one, I'll be very happy (and entertained) camper. 

Author's Response: Oh god, this one is so poorly edited. I forgot to do a second look before posting. It is all fixed on other sites but the version on this here is messed up. I need to go through everything and make repairs. I'm glad you liked it though, and I hope you enjoy my other stuff. It might not seem so, but I'm a hardcore believer in I/K M/S pairing, and totally agree wiht out one thier relationship dynamics.




Summary:

AR Inukag. Kagome has been a simple, small vilage priestess all her life. It is all she has ever known. But, when she is asked to find and destroy the dangerous shikon jewel that threatens to end the world as she knows it, will she be able to rise to the challenge? With the help of the loyal friends she meets along the way, will Kagome be able to save everything she has ever loved? And will her epic journey lead her to discover the greatest love of them all?

 

Disclaimer: Although the disclaimer is included in the opening of the story as an attempt at humour, I have learned that it is to vague. So, for the sake of clarity, I do not own any part of the stuff i rip off. As indicated by the 'rip off' comment. Pumiko Takahashi, ebony haired goddess, thought it up and i string it along in my head. Blah blah blah.

 By the way, I am soon to be posting the next chapter soon. I hope somebody notices. 


Categories: Legends
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome, Kikyou, Miroku, Naraku, Other, Sango, Sesshomaru, Shippou
Genres: Action-Adventure, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Fluff, Romance
Warnings: None
Chapters: 7 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 24642 Read Count: 969

[Report This] Published: July 03, 2007 Updated: December 23, 2007


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: April 28, 2009
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1: Half Puppy Love

Well, I told you I'd check out your work, and I finally found some free time tonight where I'm not studying or working on my story.  I really enjoyed this chapter.  I love how your writing style seems to reflect the emotion the characters are feeling at the time.  In the beginning, when Kagome was frightened, your style was hackneyed and "panicky," if that make sense.  And you reigned it back in when things got more serious later in the chapter.  I've been wondering about this for awhile, but how do you function so late at night/early in the morning?  When I hit midnight the quality of my writing starts plummetting like the stock market on Black Tuesday (history major).  So I commend you for doing such good work at that hour.  There are some typos in here, but other than that your grasp of the English language is very good. 

Author's Response: Lol, actually I am totally useless during the day. At night, specifically between 1 and 6 am,My brai loosens up and I get creative. That's usually when I want to write. Its my creative time.





Reviewer: King Baka Signed
Date: April 28, 2009
Chapter number: 4
Title: Chapter 4: An Illusion and A Rescue

This chapter made me laugh at several points:

1. Whem Midoriko asked Kaede why she was the only person around who talked like that.

2.  When Midoriko thinks 'She couldn’t very well stick the last hope of mankind with a nutcase, now could she? Could she?'

3.  The whole part with the idiot-bandit.  "Why are we running," indeed.  LOL

I'm glad they didn't recognize each other right away.  It has been seven years, after all. 





Reviewer: King Baka Signed
Date: April 28, 2009
Chapter number: 5
Title: Chapter 5: Bugs and Bandages

Holy cow, they are so freaking immature!  It's perfect!  I love the banter; you are very good with dialogue. 





Reviewer: King Baka Signed
Date: April 28, 2009
Chapter number: 7
Title: Chapter 7: Riko

I know it's been almost a year and a half since you last updated this story, but it's never too late to start up again...  *grins hopefully*  You will have at least one dedicated reader if you do decide to write more of this story. 

Author's Response:

I am going to try to address everything. Firstly, thanks so much for reading! I love reviews from my favorite authors! They are abslutely the best! I love all your work! Secondly, I am planning to update this stroy as soon as finals end, in the middle of May. I actually have most of the next chapter written, but everytime i read it it seems wrong to me. I am also working on the other stories. Nothing is abandoned, and it all will be completed when I am once again allowed to breath.

 I always wondered why, in the middle ages, Kaede is the only one whose speech patter acknoewledges the date. So I asked her. 

 I try to write from inside the characters head. If I am writing Inuyasha, it's snippier and more biting, and when its Kagoem, it can be more understanding. i am no good at separating my voice as the author from the characters and I see no reason to try. I like it that way. 

 Please keep reading and tell me what you think! I love to know!




Summary:
That jerk, Inuyasha. What right did he have to destroy the demon and save her from imminent peril? Bastard.
Categories: Fables
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome
Genres: Comedy, Romance
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 5407 Read Count: 1479

[Report This] Published: January 24, 2008 Updated: January 24, 2008


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: December 27, 2008
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1: Of Demons and Schoolgirls

Excellent one-shot!  Your characterizations of Kagome and Inuyasha are spot-on, complete with just the right amount of fluff.  Loved the dialogue and the ending especially. 



Earthshake by SugarRos Rated: Risque starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 19]

Summary:

Nominated Best Darkfic/Horror in 1st Quarter IYFG Awards!

Natural Disasters are nothing to laugh at... and so Kagome realizes as she's trapped, hundreds of feet beneath the rubble of what was once her school, with her classmates dying one by one, and absolutely no hope of rescue.


Categories: Fairy Tales
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome, Miroku, Other, Sango, Shippou
Genres: Angst, Drama, Fluff, Romance, Tragedy
Warnings: Graphic Violence
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 14090 Read Count: 723

[Report This] Published: February 17, 2008 Updated: February 17, 2008


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: January 05, 2009
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1: Earthshake: Reclamation

Holy cow, that was good!  A nice mix of angst, drama, and fluff.  Chapter 1 pulled us down into Kagome's private hell, while always giving us hope that she will be rescued.  Chapter 2 brings us down some more, as Kagome struggles with her decision to kiss Hojou, then carries us up as Inuyasha finally accepts her decision and helps her heal, mind and soul.  You writing style is finely polished, and I like how you interjected some light moments into the story (like the nurse warning Kagome about steroids, lol).  The entire Inu/Kag scene in chapter 2 was especially well done.  Again, great story.  I'll be sure to check out more of your work. 



First Kiss by SugarRos Rated: Risque starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 4]

Summary:

::Canon:: Spazfic! Kagome and Inuyasha find themselves in an... interesting... situation. Some people just have the worst timing.


Categories: Myths
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome, Other
Genres: Comedy, Fluff, Oneshot, Romance
Warnings: Language
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 512 Read Count: 153

[Report This] Published: February 18, 2008 Updated: February 18, 2008


Reviewer: King Baka Signed
Date: January 05, 2009
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1: First Kiss

Huh...guess those dog ears are just for show, seeing as how Inuyasha didn't hear Mrs. H coming.  Then again, he was pretty distracted...  Nice job. 



Night On The Town by vikikibouki Rated: Salacious starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 11]

Summary:

Inuyasha sees something that he wants. And what he wants, he gets! It's his night on the town

Disclaimer: Inuyasha & Co belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Not me.


Categories: Fables
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome
Genres: Alternate Universe, Hentai, Oneshot
Warnings: Explicit Sex, Language
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1737 Read Count: 431

[Report This] Published: March 02, 2008 Updated: March 02, 2008


Reviewer: King Baka Signed
Date: September 29, 2008
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1: Night On The Town!

I like the twist at the end.  And good lemon, too.  Your bio says your husband's a hentai, but you wrote the lemon, so what does that say?  Heh...

Author's Response:

Ahem!!!

Who do you think was my teacher??! (blushes fiercely and ducks her head) Thanks for leaving a review. Looking forward to hearing from you real soon with a brand new story.



Strength by inufan625 Rated: Salacious starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 107]

Summary:
COMPLETE: When InuYasha arives in Kagome's room battered and broken, clutching the Shikon no Tama tightly in one hand, and the world outside seems to have gone mad, Kagome will find herself tested in ways she never imagined, and in the end will learn what true strength really is.


Categories: Legends

Characters: InuYasha, Kagome, Kouga, Miroku, Sango
Genres: Action-Adventure, Drama, Hentai, Romance
Warnings: Character Death, Explicit Sex, Graphic Violence, Language
Chapters: 18 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 60273 Read Count: 12634

[Report This] Published: March 18, 2008 Updated: October 18, 2014


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: February 22, 2014
Chapter number: 4
Title: Chapter 4: Truth

Engaging story so far.  I like the theme: Kagome temporarily taking over Inuyasha's role as protector and discovering untapped strength within herself.  I hope you decide to finish it (I'm always wary about reading unfinished stories, but I like your other work so I decided to chance it)

Author's Response: Well, I did take a super long hiatus but I am determined to finish this one. I hope I won\'t disappoint. Thanks for taking the time ro review.



P.B.W. by inufan625 Rated: Salacious starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 36]

Summary:

Kagome desperately needs a job to support herself and her little brother. When an add that appears too good to be true shows up in the paper, what's a girl to do?

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor will I make any money from this work of fiction. No copyright infringment is intended.


Categories: Fairy Tales
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome, Other, Sango, Sesshomaru
Genres: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Fluff, Hentai, Parody
Warnings: Explicit Sex, Language
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 11312 Read Count: 1797

[Report This] Published: March 21, 2008 Updated: June 22, 2008


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: January 07, 2009
Chapter number: 3
Title: Chapter 3: Part III

Great story!  I loved how Kagome justified her decision; "It's just like being a nurse!"  And you just know that the sexual tension is going to get them eventually.  All it took was a little alcohol.  You set up the whole story nicely and made everything believable, even Inuyasha's insane plan to teach his brother a lesson.  I laughed out loud a couple times as well, espacially at Sesshoumaru's reaction and subsequent phone call.  "...sounding as if he might die at any moment," lol.  You are definitely one of my favorite authors.  Emergence was one of the first fanfics I read over two years ago, and a big reason why I got into it and am now writing myself.  I hope you post the epilogue eventually, but this story is highly entertaining as is. 



The Last Time. by Keiko-Chan Rated: Salacious starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 37]

Summary:


InuYasha must give upallthat he has come to cherish.
Categories: Fables

Past Featured Story
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome
Genres: Angst, Hentai, Oneshot, Romance
Warnings: Character Death
Chapters: 4 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4676 Read Count: 2646

[Report This] Published: April 27, 2008 Updated: February 22, 2009


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: February 22, 2009
Chapter number: 4
Title: Chapter 4: Epilogue - Heaven On Earth.

A review from a fellow author who talks too much in his author's notes ;)  This story was flat-out excellent.  You really captured the emotions and the feeling so well, and the lemon fit perfectly with the flow of the story.  There were a couple of grammatical errors here and there, but nothing serious.  As a rule, you should always separate complete sentences with a semi-colon.  (I'm a grammar nut)

I also wanted to comment about your wonderful use of song lyrics to enhance the story.  I especially enjoyed the Nickelback song in chapter 3.  It fit perfectly with the theme of the chapter and really added a whole new dimension to the story.  Great work!



Author's Response:

OMG! You're a grammar nut! Thank God, someone who can correct my mistakes! LOL! I hate it when I make grammar errors! Although, now that I think about it... It's probably very often. Like... Right now. Thanks for the grammar tip and thank you very much for the review!I'm a bit of a loser when it comes to incorporating songs into chapters. I just can't help myself! Music is a huge passion of mine, and I use it to express my moods and emotions more frequently and easily than I do with writing, so I guess it's no surprise that I use it so much in my writing. 

Thanks again for the input! 

~KC



Yesterday's Tomorrows by Knittingknots Rated: Provocative starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 16]

Summary:
Caught up in the danger of a land in civil war, how does the Inu-tachi adjust to a post-Naraku world? I/K, M/S Starts with Spoilers for Chapt. 558
Categories: Fairy Tales
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Shippou
Genres: Action-Adventure, Drama, Romance
Warnings: None
Chapters: 8 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 20103 Read Count: 803

[Report This] Published: June 20, 2008 Updated: April 24, 2009


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: January 25, 2009
Chapter number: 6
Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6 Spinning Thoughts After Dark

Excellent so far.  Your Inuyasha is done especially well.  I really hope you continue with this story. 



Author's Response: Appreciate the comments! 





Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: January 29, 2009
Chapter number: 7
Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7 Morning Revelations

Poor Rin.  It must suck not having any friends her own age.  I have a feeling things will start heading downwards pretty quickly now that the wedding is imminent and Haru and Jiro are on their way.  One wonders what kind of trouble their witch of a sister will cause.  You officially have me hooked on this story.  I will wait eagerly for your next update. 





Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: April 24, 2009
Chapter number: 8
Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8 Plans and Interruptions

Oh, these two...always getting interrupted.  Not that I can say anything about that without being a complete hypocrit.  This story intrigues me, and I want to read more.  I hope you have plans to finish it.  At least Haru has the common sense to not cause trouble, but Jiro may have picked a fight with the wrong Inu-youkai.  I wonder what Kaede's solution to the prejudice problem is.  Maybe kicking all the bigots out of the village?  If only...

Author's Response: Ah, but this is the first time they've been interrupted in YT...I have a lot of plans to keep this going.  YT's sort of my chapter fic version of what I'm doing with all the littlle pieces...



Memento Mori by LuxKen27 Rated: Salacious starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 10]

Summary:

She was the embodiment of virtue.  He was her forbidden temptation.  AU; rated for citrus.

**1st Place, Best Oneshot, 3rd Quarter 2008, IYFG**

**1st Place, Best Oneshot, December 2008, Feudal Association**

**Best Oneshot, Best of 2008, IYFG**


Categories: Fairy Tales
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome
Genres: Angst, Hentai, Romance
Warnings: Explicit Sex
Chapters: 7 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 26753 Read Count: 2623

[Report This] Published: September 15, 2008 Updated: March 23, 2009


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: December 26, 2008
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1: Memento Mori, Part 1

Whoa!  That was amazing, absolutely enthralling from start to finish.  I loved your characterizations, and the evolution of Kagome's psyche from beginning to end.  I also loved your writing style.  How you always went back to the theme of "This wasn't supposed to happen," and a hundred other little things that make this story special.  You certainly deserve any awards you have recieved. 

I do have one question: does Inuyasha know Kagome slept with Hojo on the night of the prom?  I don't think he would hold it against her, but it still bothers me a little that this wasn't really resolved.  Perhaps a topic for another interlude?  But this really is a pretty minor point, and I'm perfectly content to assume that she told him and he forgave her. 

Keep up the great work.  I'd love to read more of your work in the future. 



Author's Response:

Hi!  Wow, thanks for the glowing words!!  I'm glad you enjoyed the story, especially considering how long and hard it haunted me, LOL.

In response to your question:  I don't think it really matters?  It's not really about Inuyasha, after all - it's about Kagome, and how she felt trapped by everyone else's expectations.  The idea that she slept with Hojo for reasons other than really wanting to is what I was trying to highlight.  I think a lot of girls feel pressured to have sex when they don't really feel comfortable, especially at that age.  When you live your life under a microscope, you choose your rebellions very carefully :)  Mostly, I wanted to give Hojo a proper sendoff, because I think his character gets butchered all too often.

I don't think there's anything Kagome would have to apologize to Inuyasha for, anyway: after all, she wasn't cheating on him with Hojo - quite the opposite, in fact.

Thanks again for the review!



I Still Miss You by Patty530 Rated: Reserved starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 4]

Summary:
2nd place winner in the LJ community Inusongfics. My first attempt at something like this. Hope you enjoy.

Inuyasha being reflective. Takes place during the 3 years Kagome was gone.
Categories: Fables
Characters: InuYasha
Genres: Songfic
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 490 Read Count: 646

[Report This] Published: October 21, 2008 Updated: October 21, 2008


Reviewer: King Baka Signed
Date: May 14, 2009
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I like a good songfic, where the lyrics really weave into and add to the story.  It's nice to see Inuyasha believing that Kagome will return, instead of wallowing in depression.  Nice job with this. 

Author's Response: Thank you. :)




Summary:
The official posting site of the "Let Forever Begin" challenge.
Categories: Fables
Past Featured Story
Characters: Ayame, Bankotsu, InuYasha, Kagome, Kagura, Kikyou, Kohaku, Kouga, Miroku, Naraku, Rin, Sango, Sesshomaru, Shippou
Genres: Action-Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Comedy, Divergence, Drama, Fantasy, Fluff, Hentai, Horror, Oneshot, Parody, Romance
Warnings: Language
Chapters: 10 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 14294 Read Count: 3032

[Report This] Published: November 15, 2008 Updated: December 17, 2008


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: November 19, 2008
Chapter number: 4
Title: Chapter 4: Special Delivery

A fine 'happily ever after.'  I've never seen an author have Inuyasha's heart determine his aging before; it was a nice touch.  It was also cool how you had Shippou deliver the letter on Seijin no hi, instead of just a regular day.  I also liked how you sent Shippou over to answer Mrs. Higurashi's questions.  It must be hard to come to terms with that fact that your daughter is dead, but that she lived a long and happy life you didn't even know about.  I'm glad Mrs. Higurashi got some closure.  Again, great job. 





Reviewer: King Baka Signed
Date: December 06, 2008
Chapter number: 8
Title: Chapter 8: Shell-Shocked

Nicely done.  Great to see something from Inu's POV.  DanaRose is right, you should try writing canon more often. 





Reviewer: King Baka Signed
Date: December 18, 2008
Chapter number: 10
Title: Chapter 10: As Long As I'm With You

This has the potential to be a very good story, but you are in serious need of a beta-reader, or just to do some proofreading yourself.  Several things I noticed:

1.  Loud = noisy.  Load = "hey man, that's a heavy load."  At first, I thought this was a typo, but then you did it again. 

2.  To = "I'm going to the market."  Too = also, or "that's too much." 

3.  Comma usage.  Basically, a good rule is to read your words out loud to yourself, and wherever you put a noticable pause, use a comma.  For example, you should say "No, Kagome came back to be with me."  If you don't put the comma, the meaning is flubbed because it's just a run-on phrase with no pause.  You'd be saying something like "No person would ever..." and I don't think that was your intention. 

I hope you will take these thoughts into consideration and do some serious proofreading.  If you need a beta-reader, I'd be happy to help.  Let me know. 




Summary:
Common sense told her exactly what to do in this situation. The problem was, he had a knack for blowing her common sense right out of the water.
Categories: Fables
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome
Genres: Alternate Universe
Warnings: Explicit Sex, Language
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 3685 Read Count: 406

[Report This] Published: December 26, 2008 Updated: December 26, 2008


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: December 27, 2008
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1: Common Sense

Great story, most definitely a Porn With Plot, and a good one at that.  The things you were playing with - form and the passage of time - came off very well as far as I could tell.  And I think you've hit the nail on the head with your assessment of Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship in the canon series.  Thousands of fanfiction writers have tried to answer the question of what their relationship would be like if they got together in canon, and I can tell you from past experience that it is pretty hard to keep them in characters while doing it.  How many times have I rolled my eyes when Inu and Kag become insatiable sex fiends overnight, with no reasonable explanation? 

But that's another issue altogether.  Keep writing; you seem to have a nice talent for it. 



Author's Response:

Thank you for your thoughtful review! It's always nice to get some substantive feedback. I'm glad my experiment worked out alright -- I've never written anything like this, in terms of content and style, so I wasn't sure if it was cohesive as a piece. 

Oh, Inuyasha and Kagome... I'm not sure why they're so much fun to torture, but they really, really are. xD 

 




Summary:
Congratulations to our winners!
Categories: Fables
Past Featured Story
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome
Genres: Alternate Universe, Divergence, Fluff
Warnings: None
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 5916 Read Count: 1111

[Report This] Published: January 01, 2009 Updated: January 01, 2009


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: January 01, 2009
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1: First Place: Shell-Shocked by Selina MacCloveror

Congrats, Selina!  I read your entry and immediately knew you were my biggest competition.  No dissapointment in finishing second to this piece.  Happy New Year! 



House Call by Knittingknots Rated: Reserved starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 6]

Summary:
The sixth, and probably last piece of the Fragile arc.  Rin gets sick and is staying with Kagome.  Who comes to visit, and how does InuYasha react?
Categories: Fables
Characters: InuYasha, Kagome, Rin, Sesshomaru
Genres: Drama, Oneshot, Psychological, Romance
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2112 Read Count: 812

[Report This] Published: January 02, 2009 Updated: January 02, 2009


Reviewer: King Baka Signedstarstarstarstarstar
Date: January 03, 2009
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1: House Call

Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your Fragile arc.  A look at what life in the Feudal Era is really like, and just how truly fragile humans are.  Keep up the good work. 

Author's Response:

 

thanks!  I appreciate it!