Fanfiction gifts created for members of our Deviant Art group, Eternally Destined.
Categories: Fairy Tales
, Fables Characters:
Alternate Universe, Comedy, Drama, Family, Fluff, Hentai, Romance, Slice of Life, WAFFWarnings:
Explicit Sex, Language
December 25, 2011 Updated:
December 28, 2011
FOR KMOATON: Assault on December 24th by ED Staff
Darkness fell over the North Pole, covering the band of conspirators as they planned out their coup. A group of Santa's elves had decided they were tired of toy making and caroling all year long and wanted out. After all, Santa had let Hermie give up making toys to become a dentist; so why couldn't they try to get out from under the fat man's thumb? They were currently arguing the best way to overthrow him on Christmas Eve.
"That plan's stupid, Jingles," a particularly fat elf said, "first off, where are we going to get bazookas? Secondly, how are we going to get big enough to fire those bazookas?"
"Quiet!" a voice shouted from the back of the room. All heads turned to one of the elder elves, "This is no use, there's no human weapon that will take down Santa."r32;
"Then what do we do Finch?" another elf asked snottily.
The elder elf unfolded a piece of paper that had the layout of a shrine in Japan, he looked each of his fellow traitors in the eyes, "Have you ever heard of something called the Shikon no Tama?"
"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Inuyasha grumbled as Kagome dragged him by the hand to the shrine.
"Stop being so grumpy, it'll be fun!" Kagome replied.
"But do I have to wear this stupid hat?" Inuyasha groused, indicating the red Santa cap the Miko had forced him to wear.
"You do if you want me to blow off my tests for a whole month to go shard hunting. That was the deal," Kagome pointed out to her Hanyou companion. "Now don't worry about the hat and just concentrate on enjoying yourself, my family's been looking forward to celebrating your first Christmas with you."r32;
"Whatever," Inuyasha grumbled as Kagome opened the door to the shrine.
"Merry Christmas everybody! Look who I brought!" Kagome shouted as they passed through the doorway. Inuyasha flushed a little and buried his face in his hands, embarrassed at the big deal Kagome was making about him coming.
"Kagome!" Mrs. Higurashi cried out in greeting, smiling as she noticed Inuyasha had decided to join them after all, "Inuyasha! I'm so happy you decided to join us."
"Inu-nii-chan!" Souta shouted enthusiastically as he leaped at his favorite Hanyou, "Are you staying for Christmas?"
By now Inuyasha was used to the hyper boy's hero worship and easily caught him, "Yeah kid," he replied. "Kagome talked me into it."
"Don't make it sound like I forced you," Kagome said as she swatted Inuyasha playfully, "I didn't even have to use the rosary once to convince you!"
"Keh. So, what do we do on this Christmas thing anyway?"
r32;"Are you sure about this?" an elf asked their leader as the sun went down, "what do we know about this Shikon jewel anyway?"r32;
"Even though I don't know much about the jewel, I'm positive it will help us overcome our oppressor. I got a look at the Naughty And Nice List, and guarding the jewel has put this family in the Nice part big time; it must be very powerful," Finch replied. "We should get someone to sneak in and do some reconnaissance. "
The other elf eyed the rest of their army, "Let's send Jingles; teach him not to throw out stupid ideas about bazookas and nuclear bombs."
The elder elf nodded in agreement and called out to the short crowd, "Oh Jingles! Do we ever have a job for you!"
Jingles snuck into the shrine through an unlocked window, not making a sound. Not that it would have mattered, he could hear the family downstairs laughing and listening to Christmas music as they enjoyed their fried chicken. He snorted in disbelief; these people weren't even Christians, why would they be celebrating Christmas? All they did was add more of a workload to his brethren since now they had to make toys for Asia too. Well, he and his fellow elves would soon put an end to that!
He made his way downstairs, tiptoeing by a chubby cat that couldn't possibly care less about the sudden appearance of an elf in its home. He eyed the family trying to discern which one would have the jewel. His eyes fell on an old man; he was obviously the priest of the shrine, surely such a powerful object as the Shikon jewel would be in his possession. He also saw the Inuhanyou that had joined them, 'that could be a problem,' he noted to himself. He saw a knife rack on the kitchen counter behind the family, he'd just have to wait until their dinner was over before he armed himself.
"Get in and find out what you can, don't worry about casualties," that had been what he'd been told. Jingles grinned sadistically, he especially looked forward to the second part of that order. He'd been a little... jittery ever since Santa had given out an edict that they weren't allowed to make toys with sharp points or lead paint anymore.
The Higurashis had finished their dinner and gathered in their living room.
"What's with the tree?" Inuyasha asked, as he helped Kagome cover it with colorful glass balls and shiny rope.
"It's a Christmas tree!" Kagome said enthusiastically, "We decorate it, and when we're done we put Christmas presents underneath it to open on Christmas Day."
"I thought today was Christmas," Inuyasha said, confused.
"Today is Christmas Eve. Christmas Day isn't until tomorrow," Kagome explained.
"That still doesn't tell me why you have a tree in your living room, or why we're covering it in jewelry," Inuyasha pointed out.
"Look, it's tradition and it looks nice! Is that enough of a reason for you?" Kagome asked hotly.
"I guess. Freak out about it why don't you?" Inuyasha mumbled.
Jii-Chan walked over to the box of decorations to take out the Christmas lights when the elf decided to attack.
"Give it to me!" the elf shouted as he leaped at the old man's chest. "I want the jewel!"
"What the?" Jii-Chan's eyebrows rose in surprise and confusion as the elf felt around his robes trying to find the elusive jewel.
"Where is it?" the elf cried out.
"Hey! Who are you? You leave him alone," Kagome yelled at the intruder. Jii-Chan had finally recovered from his shock enough to try to wrestle the elf off of him.
The elf sneered at the girl and turned his attention to the old man. Well, the geezer was obviously resisting, so the elf felt he had no choice; he reached behind his back and pulled out the knife he'd stashed in his belt. Before any of the family could react he drove it to the hilt into the old man's side.
"That'll calm you down," the elf sneered at the man's look of pure pain. Now that the priest was in too much agony to resist, searching him for the jewel would be much easier.
"Jii-Chan!" Kagome cried out in panic as she watched the blood pool on the floor beneath him.
Inuyasha growled and instantly made his way to the evil little runt that had assaulted the crazy old man.
"What the Hell do you think you're doing?" the Hanyou growled as he snatched the elf up from its victim.
Instead of answering, the elf struggled against Inuyasha's iron grip. He futilely slashed the knife at the Hanyou's wrists, but was unable to cut through the fire rat armor. Inuyasha rolled his eyes and decided he'd had enough. The little monster had just tried to kill Kagome's grandfather after all. He quickly snapped the elf's neck and dropped him lifelessly to the floor.
Kagome and Mrs. Higurashi had rushed over to Jii-Chan with Kagome's first-aid kit, and were working quickly to stop the bleeding. Luckily it was a pretty minor stab wound.
Souta looked down at the small corpse lying on the floor. He was completely dazed, "Did Inu-nii-chan just kill one of Santa's elves?"
Inuyasha idly looked out the living room window, his sharp eyes caught something in the shadows. There were more of them! It looked like an entire army.
"Wench, it looks like there's a lot more of 'em out there. We might have a bit of a war on our hands."
"Sir," one of the sentries came up to the elf who'd masterminded the assault, "it looks like Jingles fell to the Hanyou."
"He killed Jingles?" Finch gasped, "That bastard!"
"What do we do?"
"It seems we underestimated the nastiness of this family because of their position on the Nice List," the elf mused. "Surround the house, don't let any of the monsters escape. I'll think up a new battle plan."
"Crap, they're flanking us," Inuyasha cursed as he watched the elves attempt to be stealthy while they surrounded the shrine.
"What's the big deal? You got rid of that one easily enough," Souta said, pointing to the elf on the living room floor.
"The big deal is there's so many of them," Inuyasha answered. "I can't even use the Kaze no Kizu without having to worry about destroying half the shrine."
"We need a plan," Kagome said, "after everything we've fought and been through I really don't want to go down because of Santa's elves."
"Working on it," Inuyasha mumbled as he continued watching out the window. "How's the old man?"
Jii-Chan groaned in pain, but Mrs. Higurashi answered, "It'd be better if we could get him to the hospital, but he should be fine if nothing else attacks him."
Inuyasha shook his head in frustration, "They're getting ready to attack, I can feel it... and they want the Shikon no Tama.... Dammit!" he turned to Kagome, "This shrine has too many entrances, we need to seal some up. Grab some of the old man's ofuda and make them actually work. Get a barrier on every window and door that's not in this room. If they're going to get in and attack, we can at least encourage them to go where we want them to."
Kagome nodded and ran off to Jii-Chan's bedroom. Inuyasha then turned to Souta and Mrs. Higurashi, "You two, get some weapons. Kagome's barriers won't last forever, we're going to need your help if any slip inside," he ordered.
"What about Jii-Chan?" Souta asked.
Inuyasha looked down at his sword before he detached the scabbard, "Don't worry about the crazy geezer, kid, I'll make sure he's protected."
As the mother and child went to search for household items they could use for weapons Inuyasha walked over to the old man who was laying on the sofa. He gently placed Tessaiga over the man's body and clasped one of Jii-Chan's hands over the hilt. "Whatever you do, don't let go of the sword. Its barrier will protect you if anything goes wrong."
"You got the ofuda ready yet wench?" Inuyasha yelled out.
"Just found it!" Kagome replied.
"Please tell me you keep a bow and arrow here to practice with," Inuyasha half pleaded.
Kagome came back into the living room, with a bow slung over her shoulder, "Really, Inuyasha. How well do you know me?"
"I think we've been made," an elf reported. "They've started placing barriers over all entrances except the main one."
"He's trying to bottleneck us..." Finch mused. "I want half of our men out back working on breaking one of the barriers, the rest of us will attack from the front like they expect. When we've penetrated the back they'll be too tired to fight back and will give up the jewel for sure."
"You magnificent bastard," the lead elf cried in the direction of the shrine, "I read your book!"
"Really? I didn't know you were much of a reader," the younger elf said.
The lead elf looked at his companion disdainfully, "Shut up and get to work."
"Here they come Inu-nii-chan!" Souta yelled from his spot in front of the window.
"Alright, Kagome, that's your cue!" Inuyasha directed.
Kagome opened the door and started firing arrows at the wave of attacking elves. Inuyasha watched with pride as Kagome felled every elf she aimed for, before noticing she was quickly burning through her supply of arrows.
"Let's switch, Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled.
Kagome nodded and the two quickly exchanged places. Luckily, Kagome had managed to do quite a bit of damage to the elves' numbers.
"Sankon Tessou!" Inuyasha cried, leaping from the doorway, landing in the middle of a swarm of elves. He slashed and stomped in a fury, dispatching as many of the little menaces as he could, with Kagome firing an arrow at the occasional elf that managed to slip by.
"Looks like the first wave is done," Souta informed the others as Inuyasha started backing into the house. "By the way sis, you've only got two arrows left."
Kagome quickly looked at her quiver and let out a rare curse, "Dammit!"
"This isn't good," Inuyasha grumbled, "there's just too many of the damn little guys."
Everyone jumped as they heard a loud bang come from the back of the house. Kagome swooned briefly before catching herself.
"They're punching a hole through my barrier, I can feel it!" she warned.
"Crap," Inuyasha smacked the wall in frustration. He caught sight of Kagome's mostly depleted supply of arrows. "Double crap!"
Kagome pushed her way passed Inuyasha and placed an ofuda over the main door, "I've got an idea!"
"A good idea?" Souta asked hopefully.
"No idea," Kagome replied, "Inuyasha pick up Jii-Chan, we need to get to the basement."
Meanwhile, up at the North Pole, a huffing Santa was finishing loading up his sleigh. It seemed like half of his elves had decided to take the day off. 'Oh well,' he shrugged. They had been working so hard lately, he wouldn't begrudge them their first Christmas Eve off. He was about to take off when he was stopped by his wife.
"Santa baby! Wait!" Mrs. Clause yelled.
"What is it dear?" Santa turned to his wife, expecting a goodbye kiss instead of the parchment that was thrust into his face.
"I was cleaning the workshop, when I came across this. I think I know where all the elves went."
Santa's eyes widened as he looked over the parchment, "Oh no," he murmured. He quickly scrambled onto his sleigh.
"Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen! On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen! To Japan! To the Higurashi Shrine! Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!"
Inuyasha jammed Tessaiga into the pantry doorway, enacting the sword's barrier and protecting the Higurashis inside. He turned to Kagome, "I hope you know this is a bad plan. Like fire the crows foot at the crow bad."
"I know," Kagome admitted, "but it beats no plan."
"I guess," Inuyasha conceded. "And Kagome, in case this works and we get out of here alive, you and me are going to have a little talk about what you consider a nice, peaceful holiday."
"Just shut up and wait for my signal," Kagome said as she handed Inuyasha their portion of the jewel.
"At least this time the shards will be restricted to one room," Inuyasha mused. His ears twitched at the pitter patter of tiny feet, "They're here..."
The door burst open and the elves stampeded over each other trying to get down the stairs.
"See what I mean? They know they're beat! They're surrendering!" the lead elf cried out. "Give us the jewel and we'll let you and your family live! Even though you've killed about a hundred of us!"
"You want the jewel? You can have it! Now Inuyasha!"
Inuyasha tossed the jewel to the elf at the top of the stairs, silently praying for Kagome to hit her target.
Kagome watched the jewel's ascent, waiting for the perfect moment when it seemed to hang in the air. Inuyasha had set her up perfectly, now she needed to come through with the goal, "Hit the mark!"
The elves could only watch in shock and horror as a glowing pink arrow hurtled its way toward the precious jewel.
"No!" Finch screamed as he leaped to catch the jewel before it could be pierced by the arrow.
Inuyasha grabbed Kagome and dove to the ground, covering her with his body to protect her from the blast.
Finally silence reigned and the dust settled. Kagome and Inuyasha chanced a look at the basement entry way.
"Oh thank God," Kagome muttered, the blast from shattering the jewel had slain all the elves.
Inuyasha stood and pulled Tessaiga from the doorway. He poked his head into the pantry, "Kagome's plan worked; we did it!"
"Inuyasha..." Kagome said a bit nervously.
"What?" Inuyasha said, but all Kagome could do was point at the jolly red figure at the top of the stairs. His belly was jiggling like a bowlful of jelly.
"You were a mean one, Mr. Finch," Santa said sadly. Kagome watched as he waved his hand around and sparkles seemed to fly toward his grasp. Santa opened his hand, and resting in his palm was Kagome's portion of the jewel.
"I believe this is yours, young lady."
Kagome numbly climbed the steps, reluctantly accepting the offered jewel.
"I suppose a plane that loops the loop isn't going to cut it this year will it?" Santa said wryly.
"I'm sorry your first Christmas was ruined like this," Kagome apologized as she slipped into bed.
"You know just because we spent our night fighting off homicidal beings bent on world domination, doesn't mean my night was ruined. It was normal," Inuyasha said, leaning against the wall.
"But still," Kagome pouted, "all I wanted was for you to be able to relax for one night."
"You know," Inuyasha said, with a cunning look in his eye, "that Santa guy offered me anything I wanted for Christmas. Since his elves ruined my first one and all. So he asked me what I wanted most for Christmas."
"Oh?" Kagome said, watching the Hanyou warily as he slinked over to her bed. Knowing him, Kagome bet he wished for something like being able to take his rosary off and put it on her or something.
"It's funny, because the only thing I could think of was that all I wanted for Christmas was you," Inuyasha said seductively as he climbed into the bed to unwrap his present.
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InuYasha © Rumiko Takahashi.
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