Reviews For Kagome's Type
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Reviewer: cesuraee Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: November 19, 2013 6:32 am
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1

This was adorable. I love that instead of InuYasha becoming brash and angry over Kagome's dream guy he attempted to be that to her. It was really sweet and I enjoyed it a lot. Thank you for sharing!





Reviewer: Maggie Signed [Report This]
Date: March 14, 2010 7:26 pm
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1

Haha, really sweet <3





Reviewer: Vampire Liaison Signed [Report This]
Date: March 21, 2009 4:26 am
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1

Absolutely, I can.

 "With that, Inuyasha picked her up bridal style and kissed her passionately"Now, this lovely line is in the past tense, so it has already happened. He picked her up, he kissed her. These things end in 'ed' indicating them as events of the past. Its the most common type of storytelling.

 "You.....love me?" he asks. Kagome blushes realizing she just made a confession."

This part of your story uses the words asks and blushes in the present tense, as if those things are happening right now as you say them. This is a legitamite, albeit often frustrating way to tell a story. However, it is incorrect, like any other grammatical error, when mixed in with a story written in the past tense. Now, I read this and it looks to me like past tense is the major one and what you intended. So, you need to fix the parts that say things as though they hare happening as you speak. This error can be hard to catch because it sometimes happens simply because s and d are next to each other on the keyboard. however, here is happens enough times that I think this is tense jumping and not a typos.  Its easily repaired. 

 

 





Reviewer: Vampire Liaison Signed [Report This]
Date: March 21, 2009 1:22 am
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1

You have tense problems. You jump from past to preset tense. The first time I thought it was a typo, but you do it alot. You definitely need to fix that.

Author's Response: Can you please provide an example where I have done this?





Reviewer: MadMistress65 Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: November 15, 2008 2:54 pm
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1

More warm and fuzzies.  Awwwwwwwwww, that was so sweet!



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