Reviews For Metamorphosis
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Reviewer: CousCous1 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 23, 2016 2:19 pm
Chapter number: 59
Title: A New Kind of Adventure, Part 2

Awesome story... Since you pride yourself on accuracy and do a lot of research, I thought maybe it would be helpful to let you know that it's a bit dangerous to take hot baths when pregnant (could cook the baby).

Author's Response: Ah, that makes sense. Thanks for the info. I don't know if I'll ever write another pregnancy, but I'll try to remember that.





Reviewer: Damara Signed [Report This]
Date: February 04, 2015 11:32 pm
Chapter number: 1
Title: Rebirth

Coming a bit late to the party, but I've spent more than a week reading this when I should have been working, so the least I can do is comment.

Things I liked:

-The way you handled Kagome's transition to hanyou. It seems realistic and in character.

-Your villains could have been lifted from the canon series; they fit in seamlessly and didn't come off as Mary Sueish as so many fanfic OCs do.

-The details of characterization. I find that the more IC a fanfic holds, the more I forgive other faults.

Things I loved:

-The Demon!Inuyasha mating scene in chapter 29. There are some pretty grody and violent depictions out there on the net of what happens were he to lose control, and I think you nailed the dynamic - that he would never actually hurt her, that it wasn't so much non-consensual as it was inevitable (If she hadn't been willing, she would have purified him), and his guilt afterward.

-When Souta tells his mom she's creepy, and she agrees; very Stepford. It made me laugh.

All in all, very well done and worth the read.

Author's Response:

I'm glad you liked it.  That chapter 29 was a fun one to write, though I always did wonder if I overdid the lemonade.  So I'm grateful that you mentioned it.  Your take was exactly what I was going for. 





Reviewer: Deviiltjee Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 01, 2014 3:34 pm
Chapter number: 64
Title: Brighter than the Sun (Epilogue)

omg.. i cried.. nuff said





Reviewer: Deviiltjee Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 22, 2014 10:46 pm
Chapter number: 23
Title: A Fresh Start

i almost cried when it was about his mama! :'(





Reviewer: Devaigh Signed [Report This]
Date: May 10, 2012 5:40 pm
Chapter number: 64
Title: Brighter than the Sun (Epilogue)

I waited as weel to write my review as I felt like I wouldn't do you justice. First off, I'll say that your story had me enchanted for a lot of it, I loved your ideas and your overall concept of the story. However I think there were a few issues. This might be just me and my opinion, but please don't think I'm trying to be mean.

I loved your concept of the Hanyou Kagome. However I think this storycould have benefited from being a full trilogy piece than one long tale. I admire your style and your drive to write such an epic but during a large portion of the story I fet like I was reading multiple stories. Personally I think that you could have divided the story in thirds and I would have completly believed it. 

After the death of the first two "Main foes" (I seem to have fogotten the names) the story makes a huge shift. Then there's the final battle with Naraku which can be set with the first part. 

It might be just me, but the first 20 or so chapters just don't relate fully (in my opinion) to the last half of the story. SO much happens that lik eI said, if this had been a series I think it could have worked. I know there are several places that you  said you skimped on details, and that might have helped.

I'm sorry if that didn't make sense, lol but I did enjoy your work. I have read a lot of your stuff.This took me a few days to read, but I'm glad I did. Thanks for allowing me to enjoy the ride.



Author's Response:

No offense taken at all; I don’t mind constructive criticism. 

Your suggestion does make a lot of sense.  Any time you talk about having such a long story, whether in written or film form, there’s something to be said for breaking it up into parts.  That said, just breaking it up would not have been enough.  When you do that, you have to craft the story so there are smaller mini-tales.  These also must have buildup, a climax, and a conclusion.  Perhaps less grand than the overall story arc, but nevertheless present.  I’m thinking of the Lord of the Rings trilogy as an example. 

So I would’ve had to write it differently from the very beginning, I think.  You’re also right that the first 20 or so chapters don’t relate to the second half of the story.  They weren’t supposed to.  Something happens when two people take the next step and enter into a relationship.  They go from just being friends and fighting Naraku to being lovers/mates/spouses and trying to plan the rest of their lives.  So I do see your point; maybe the line between the two segments of the story could have been made clearer. 

I think it was easier on the readers who were with me as I was writing the story.  For those who read it all in a couple sittings, the transitions must feel kind of quick at times. 

So I know it’s not perfect, but I’m comfortable with how it is now.  I’m glad you enjoyed the story despite the flaws. 

Regards,

KB





Reviewer: moonchaserinu Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: December 23, 2011 1:10 pm
Chapter number: 64
Title: Brighter than the Sun (Epilogue)

All I can say is WOW!!!! Amazing story! Very well written and I loved the Honyou Kagome!





Reviewer: Liz Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 31, 2011 11:16 pm
Chapter number: 64
Title: Brighter than the Sun (Epilogue)

Loved to story! The best I've read so far :)





Reviewer: RitoruIkko Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 09, 2011 4:07 pm
Chapter number: 64
Title: Brighter than the Sun (Epilogue)

I waited until the end to write my review on this one.  Thank you.  Your epic was well written, fun to read, and overall - Awesome. 
Great Job.





Reviewer: Say0mi Saki Signed [Report This]
Date: March 13, 2011 5:56 am
Chapter number: 64
Title: Brighter than the Sun (Epilogue)

Well, I dedicated two days just reading this story of yours til the end, and I've got to say that I'm extremely happy to have read it. This was such a beautiful story and I absolutely loved reading through every dilemma and through all the character development. Thank you for sharing this story with us!

Author's Response: You're welcome.  I won't say it was always fun, but I'm really glad I stuck it out and I did enjoy writing it most of the time. 





Reviewer: animegirl29337 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 07, 2011 10:07 pm
Chapter number: 1
Title: Rebirth

I realy love it. it made me fell like i was there great

 





Reviewer: InitialA Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: December 30, 2010 7:40 am
Chapter number: 64
Title: Brighter than the Sun (Epilogue)

*blinks* Goodness, I disappear from the fandom for a few months and I come back to find this epic (of epic proportions and storytelling) finished.

It's actually filled me with quite a bit of sadness that this has come to an end since I've been reading it from the start, but at the same time I loved how perfectly it all ended up. Every bit of it was wonderful, and all the little tricks you threw in there--the hornet sting from so long ago!--every bit came together so wonderfully!!

I tip my hat to you, sir, and I can't wait to see what you craft next!

Author's Response: Thank you; I'm glad you appreciated all the little tricks.  I really learned the importance of an outline/brainstorming page for this story.  I believe my next work will be the Inu/Kag canon story set mostly in the modern era.  I've been coming up with some juicy ideas for that one over the next few days.  But I'm only a quarter done the editing process on this story, so it should be awhile before I start writing any new material.  Cheers.





Reviewer: klar1013 Signed [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2010 7:58 pm
Chapter number: 64
Title: Brighter than the Sun (Epilogue)

wow! This story was amazing. Loved it from beginning to end!





Reviewer: Deathmvp Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2010 5:05 pm
Chapter number: 64
Title: Brighter than the Sun (Epilogue)

Great way to end this story.  I did like the part with Sesshoumaru in the beging of this chapter alot.  I will miss this story.

Author's Response: I had to force myself not to write too much for that scene, as I think it would have taken away from the ending. 





Reviewer: Deathmvp Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2010 5:04 pm
Chapter number: 63
Title: Culmination

Great chapter here.  I love how the fight was done between Inu and Kagoma in this chapter as well as her metal battale was done.

 

I have cheated and read the last chapter also while I was out at lunch (printed bother).  If you do go back to this chapter and make a change I would recomend making it instead of just wight that she is brought back to destorying the darkness,  it is the same feild from back in the beging of the story when she was in her own mind.



Author's Response: I believe that was an imaginary field inside her mind, whereas the one from the dreamm/vision was actually real.  They don't really have anything to do with each other. 





Reviewer: DimepieceLeo Signed [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2010 1:34 pm
Chapter number: 64
Title: Brighter than the Sun (Epilogue)

PS

I would like to have had them live longer since Rin was still around, but I liked the somber Sesshomaru too, SO SIMPLE, YET SO MUCH EMOTIONAL DEPTH THERE!!!!!!



Author's Response: Yes, I know a lot of people like to have hanyou live longer, but this shorter life span makes sense to me.  I also didn't want any possibility of them encountering their future selves.  I'm glad you liked Sesshoumaru's part; I was conscious not to give too much detail there.  Just a taste. 





Reviewer: DimepieceLeo Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2010 1:32 pm
Chapter number: 64
Title: Brighter than the Sun (Epilogue)

Congrats Man,

I am so happy for you to have finsh this story.  It was a very emotional ride, but a good one never the least.  I think you for the hard work and time. 



Author's Response: Thank you.  As far as I'm concerned, it was time well spent.





Reviewer: KyriaHitomi Signed [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2010 6:17 am
Chapter number: 63
Title: Culmination

wow, I didn't think you were going to end it so quickly!

Author's Response: I thought about making the fight scene longer, but didn't really see any need for it. 





Reviewer: Deathmvp Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: November 22, 2010 10:27 pm
Chapter number: 62
Title: Misdirection

Nice job on this chapter and great job on tricking Kagome.  May I recomend you take a page out of the first movie.  If her mind is not totaly gone from this we as the reader can hear her thoughts while everything is going on with her being contorled.

Author's Response: Oh, I have the whole rest of the story planned out.  You'll see...





Reviewer: Deathmvp Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: November 11, 2010 3:42 pm
Chapter number: 61
Title: Arrivals and Departures

Great chapter.  I know I have seen story like "A Child's Wish" that the child gets ride of it from a wish at like the age of 5 and I have seen some that the act of making the child does but not a infant touching it like that so great job on that idea.  

I also do not think the baby with them would be to bad.  Yes you have to be carefull but wile traviling like them they would have to do it.  Also like they did in the story The lucky Ones even as a baby the baby is a 1/2 (or more) demon and would be at lest a little tougher then a normal kid.



Author's Response:

You're like the third person who's mentioned that story to me.  Maybe I'll check it out sometime.  Did you like it? 

I agree with you about co-sleeping, but I know it's controversial, so I figured it would be wise to disclaim myself fully.  Your probably right that the baby would be at least a little tougher too. 





Reviewer: KaGoMe_26 Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: November 11, 2010 2:49 am
Chapter number: 61
Title: Arrivals and Departures

This story is, so far, the best I have read so far on this site. You're right, I haven't read one where their child purified the jewel. Brilliant thinking by the way! I am also glad to see that this isn't the end of the story. I can't wait till the next chapter, I hope you update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you kindly.  I knew people would think that this was the end of the story if I ended the chapter with the Inu/Kag scene, so I added in that little modern part at the end.  Now everyone knows the story isn't over.  :)





Reviewer: la623 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 06, 2010 5:44 am
Chapter number: 60
Title: Race Against Time

OH wow...crazy...loved this...can't wait to read more!





Reviewer: Deathmvp Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: November 02, 2010 8:59 pm
Chapter number: 60
Title: Race Against Time

I loved how this chapter was done.  The fight was great to read in this chapter.  It is very very mean though to have her go into labor  with just the 2 of them.  I so look foward to him in the next chapter.

May I recomend something that would not apper in most websites or books but I found out is one of the first things all new mothers do.  Count the number of fingers and toes on the kid as soon as they get the baby.  I found this out since for my first child my wife was parilized from the neck down (spinal tap) and all but beged me to do it after the c-section.  I then (a few days later) asked her why while my mom and her mom was thier and they told me all mothers do it.  I could soo see Kagome doing it also and cheaking the ears.  Another thing is unless I am mistake both cats and dogs are both brn with thier eye and ears sealed.  If the child is part ether or both you may want to think about that for the child.



Author's Response:

Thank you; I always take pride in my fight scenes.  If you thought what I did was mean, several of my mediaminer reviews thought I was going to have Kagome go into labor *during* the battle.  Now that would have been cruel! 

That's an interesting idea, counting the fingers and toes.  I'll have to research it and see if it's as widespread as you say it is.  While Inuyasha and Kagome are half Inu or Neko youkai, their appearance is mostly human.  As a result, I don't think it would make much sense for the child to be born much different from a human baby. 





Reviewer: Deathmvp Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: October 18, 2010 11:24 pm
Chapter number: 59
Title: A New Kind of Adventure, Part 2

Great job.  This chapter was done well.  Having been a farther 4 times by my wife all I can say is you got this almost right.  One of the arguments should have been that he is giving in too much.  Yes I love my wife but even her and my sister will tell you the pregnat arguments do not always make sense and the only constant is that the man is wrong.

Author's Response: The man is always wrong, eh?  Spoken like a true husband, LOL. 





Reviewer: cutelittleears Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: October 17, 2010 5:16 pm
Chapter number: 1
Title: Rebirth

Go ahead and use the line. I'm cool with that. :-D





Reviewer: cutelittleears Signedstarstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: October 17, 2010 1:23 am
Chapter number: 59
Title: A New Kind of Adventure, Part 2

You did very well with the pregnancy info. I'm in my 33rd week right now. I want this monster out of me. Another site for info that is really good is babycenter.com. They have videos that describe what the baby's development is during certain weeks and also has videos on labor/delivery. I go to that site religiously. Again, good job on this chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks for the tip.  I haven't done any research on labor and delivery yet, so that could be useful.  "I want this monster out of me."  Mind if I use that line next chapter?  :)



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