Date: May 13, 2009 2:16 pm
Chapter number: 12
Title: Chapter 12: Epilogue
Interesting story. I thought it was very cute, but could have been written a bit better. I think it would be wise to extend your vocabulary more and maybe rewrite some sections of this story. All in all, it kept my attention. I enjoyed it so thank you, and I'm sure I'd love a sequel if your imagination flies that far.
Date: May 17, 2008 2:15 pm
Chapter number: 11
Title: Chapter 11: The "Other" Feature
Okay....now I really am a bit peeved.
You have such a great imagination. But the spelling in this chapter is atrocious!
And this coming from a French-Canadian who has to use her dictionary constantly when she writes!
Yes, I am French! But with an English speaking background!
Please, little one. Review and edit. You have such great potential. Your plot and story line is very good.
But it is seriously lacking in the way you write, unfortunately.
I'm not trying to be a bitch or anything. All I'm asking is that you be a tad more careful when you write. Try reading a few stories that other authors have written on this site, such as Knittingknots, Roxxotaku, Doggieearlover, or Inugrrrl, herself (my personal favorite).
By reading their fantastic stories, you'll be able to emulate. Then, I'm sure that everything will come just a bit more easily to you.
You have a gift. Use it to the utmost potential.