Date: March 08, 2008 5:22 pm
Chapter number: 1
Title: Fun under the sun
This is good Very nice, indeed. But, if you don't mind me saying this...proof-read your chappies before you post. That way, you'll be able to see any mistakes that you made unknowingly, especially around the punctuation, like comma's and such.
All in all, it's really quite good and I'm looking forward to your next chappie. Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: Thanks vikikiouki, im glad that you enjoyed my story, and i will take what you have said into account. thankyou again for your imput.