Date: January 26, 2010 10:17 am
Chapter number: 1
Title: On A Dark and Stormy Night
Congratulations! Your fiction has won an award from the Feudal Association for the December 2009 term! Founded in 2005 by author/artist, Dark Avenger, the Feudal Association consists of writers, artists, and enthusiasts of the InuYasha fandom. But aside from that, we are also proud to say that we are an awards guild that recognizes fan-fiction and artwork. Several times a year we nominate, vote, and hand out honors to some of the best creations in the fandom. Our Yahoo Group, where the nominating and voting occurs, can be found here:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FeudalAssociation/ Our website is located here:http://feudal.animara.org/ This terms' fiction winners list can be found here:http://jaimed1968.deviantart.com/journal/29840759/ Links to all of the awards, past or present, can be found here:http://feudal.animara.org/ Please pick up "site only" awards here:http://s286.photobucket.com/albums/ll109/FeudalAssociation/Fiction%20Dec09/ First place awards will be on permanent display here: http://feudal.animara.org/gallery.php Congratulations and feel free to join and/or help us spread the word about our group! ~The Feudal Association
Date: January 12, 2009 9:56 pm
Chapter number: 22
Title: The Titan Falls
OMG! i just read all of that! It was amazing! Like HOLY SHIT MAN! i loved it! the way you right with such details is incredible and the twisted turn of fate! oh gosh! lol. I can't wait to see what else is in store! =]
Date: January 11, 2009 11:19 am
Chapter number: 23
Title: Intermediate Spaces
Yay!!! Thanks for posting the updated chapters to this site, although I was more than happy to make the trek to MM to follow this story! *smiles* I love this story, and I can't wait until the next update! Once again, good luck on your thesis!!! :)
Date: January 11, 2009 11:09 am
Chapter number: 22
Title: The Titan Falls
I'm glad Naraku got his in the end. Was the other dead man the guard who had been talking to Kagome about his little girl? Yay for Kouga finally showing up. It'll be interesting to see how Inu and Kagome handle the revelation.
Date: January 11, 2009 10:58 am
Chapter number: 21
Title: Welcome to the Gauntlet
OMG! So that's Kagome's secret! Naraku is so cold to not only be so callous about killing Kikyou (mistaken identity) but to act as if Kagome just killed Onigumo for the fun of it! Great Chapter!
Date: January 11, 2009 10:55 am
Chapter number: 20
Title: Walking the Line
Great chapter. It's great to give us a really good feel for Sesshomaru. Maybe he'll reconsider his stance on not trusting the people around him or at least some of them.
I also enjoyed Inu's reflections. He has been through so much. I can't wait to see who has grabbed him!
Onward to the next chapter!
Date: December 14, 2008 3:13 am
Chapter number: 13
Title: In Dreams They Wait
I like Kouga and all, but i sort of miss hearing from inuyasha, so i hope soon to get back to that. Other then that, good chapter. Kagome is so Kagome about. Shes kiddnapped and tied up ,and jut has to get snarky. love that about her.
Date: December 14, 2008 1:45 am
Chapter number: 12
Title: Dancing With the Devil
You have a slight habit of repeating small details and single phrases several time. its not very noticable, but i thought you should be aware of it. Simpl things like the way the chair "groaned loudly in protest", and then the door is described exactly the same way. it happens every other chapter or so. Its not a big deal, but its the type of thing you should no. it probably would be fixed by proofreading. You also use the word 'retinue' a lot, more then once per chapter some times. It always or almost always is correct, but its still often for any word that is not a name, place, or made up abstract by the author. its like saying crew a lot.
Well, i hate kesuke, but in the way you are supposed to. you dont mind him being there, but hes a jerk and you kind of want to kick his ass for it.
I was very surprised by our resident hero's reaction. there is no way i would buy that, upon hearing Kagome was in danger, even back when he thought she was annoying and nothing else, that he would just sit around drinking while she was possibly killed or worse. you are gonna have to explain that one somewhere.
Well written, as always. Completely coherent, and interesting, epscially with that little jaunt in Kouga's head, of all people. No sango, no miroku, but a generous serving of Kouga. interesting choice.
Date: December 14, 2008 12:54 am
Chapter number: 11
Title: A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words; Okay, Maybe 5000...
The beginning is a bit contradictory, because you dont take long from happy to annoyed, irritable, and suspicious. Its almost the same paragraph, with no transition. he doesnt seem to happy. Don't get me wrong though, i actually follow his irritable reasoning and understand completely his unesase and lack of trust. even cannon inuyasha had issues with that.
I'm surprised at Kagome though. Mad as she is , i can't believe she would risk hurting him, even if it just a burn from too-hot tea. Then again, how many "she accidentally kills him with 'sit'" stories have a heard. I totally beleive she would dump hot tea on him, then feel bad if it hurt him, but not realize that it might before hand. its funny anyway.
I like the chapter setting a lot. I am getting hilarious mental pictures of a suspicious inuyasha sitting with a venti in Starbucks. Very funny.
I am glad you appreciate the reviews. Beforee i finished i was notified you had responded. I understand what you mean about beleivable love now more, in retrospect.
as for spelling errors, i wasn't reading too carefully, but i only saw on. Freekin'. It shoulf be Freakin', even with the g cut off. not a big deal though, and it doesnt effect understanding at all.
It is a great cliff, by the way, and I am glad i wont have to be left on edge, what with the next chapter so conveniently available already.
Date: December 13, 2008 11:50 pm
Chapter number: 10
Title: Triple Brownie Overload Surprise!
I left a long review, but it didnt go through so im summarizing. I felt like she should havedecided against dumping him, not because shes horny and he is hot, but because she cares about him and doesnt want to hurt him, which never seeing herr again would. I dont feel like they are getting to know each other as well as they should. They are just going at it like bunnies without love behind it. Not that that is a bad thing. I just feel a little empty.
The chapter is, however, well written and charming. The style is good and engaging. Keep it up.
Thank you for leaving such incredible reviews. I will probably go back and answer a few of them individually to address your questions, but I wanted to respond to this one.
As it stands at the end of "Triple Brownie Overload" they are not in love. I never intended for them to be. Their relationship is still far too new - one minute they can barely tolerate one another and the next they let their hormones go into overdrive. Each of them have far too many dark pieces to their past that are acting like roadblocks, keeping them from dropping down the walls they've built up around their hearts.
That's not to say they won't get there eventually, but I didn't want to rush it. I wanted their love to be believable - something that would grow gradually over time as they shared experiences with one another and became closer. I think you'll see a bit of that develop over the next few chapters (hopefully). There's a bit of a time skip and scenes were I go back and review events that happened during that time to show some of their bonding moments. I look forward to hearing your thoughts once you've read those. Rest assured, they'll get there eventually but in their own time :)
(And thank you, thank you for the reviews. They've all been incredibly insightful and have certainly given me more than a few things to think about as far as character development and storyline goes. The critiques have been MUCH appreciated!)
Date: December 13, 2008 9:00 pm
Chapter number: 9
Title: Lemonade Anyone?
I don't think the challenge lies in writing the smut. I think it lies in making the smut sound like something other then sleazy literary porn. I persinally would have liked it to be a little more affectionate, but it defintiely didn't not fall down the well of sleaze. Its progressing nicely. I still want them to show a bit more closeness. I see plenty of lust in them both, and interest, and even outright fascination, but not much that tells that they genuinely see good in each other.
Date: December 13, 2008 5:12 pm
Chapter number: 8
Title: Secret's Out
We are staying R rated so far, aren't we. NC-17 to come though it seems. I don't care about that one way or the other, though...
Normally I wouldn't like the amount of time wthout contact and with feeling remaining, but I have read Twilight since then, and it actualy works in some cases, including this. Very nice.
Date: December 13, 2008 3:24 am
Chapter number: 6
Title: A Dangerous Encounter
I dunno, the font all looked fine to me. I'm still a bit confused now. i get that he is, in fact, demonic still to some degree judging by the ears. But why does he not seem to have the strength? Elevator doors shouldnt pose much of an issue to inuyasha. He could probably eat them if he were stubborn enough to try. i don't get where the lines are, thats all.
Otherwise, I am enjoying this so much. there is still a vague sense of familiarity, which i kind of like but also am kind of looking forward to getting rid of after next chapter because that is all there was last time i was rading this. so, after that, all new. Yay.
Date: December 13, 2008 2:44 am
Chapter number: 5
Title: Earthquakes Are No One's Friend
First things first, I love your AN's. They hint just enough to the coming event to give you a clue, but are also very open so you need to read more to see whats going on. That, and they are hilariously offhand.
Date: December 13, 2008 2:22 am
Chapter number: 4
Title: Sweet Revenge
Bonding! Gotta love inu-kag bonding! Not bondage, as some people seem to enjoy, but genuine bonding. So cute. This time around, Inuyasha seems more cannon, despite the clear changes. Jumping out to save her, and then responding with a "Whatever" is such and Inu thing to do. I am enjoing it so much that its half past four am and i am still reading! I think i asked this last time, but i am too busy reading to look, but do miroku and sango make appearances in this story? I can't recall.
Well, great chapter, glad there is more. But i will honestly be through with this in a day or so, so please c'mon back and get to posting!