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Reviewer: SuperNova Signedstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: June 02, 2011 10:16 pm
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1

i luv how u ended it with a nice touching part at the end. it made in want 2 cry. TvT





Reviewer: CatLover260 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 14, 2008 6:21 am
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1

Cute little story about them gettting together.  Though I would have liked Kagome getting a bit more of a choice on when and getting pregnant.  That should be a decision between both partners and not just one.





Reviewer: vikikibouki Signedstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 14, 2008 1:02 pm
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1

Good plot, although I've read something similar in other stories. But that's to be expected when we write cannon, I guess. I've done the very same thing myself, believe me. 

Damned good lemon, but, once again, I found that you have a tendancy to cut things short. I suggest that you proofread your stories before posting them. Also, try to be a bit more careful on how you phrase your sentences.

Practice makes perfect, little one. Keep writing, and I'll keep reading. And I still say that the lemon was DAMNED GOOD!

I rate this an 8 outta 10.

 



Author's Response:

Thank you. This piece is an earlyer work of mine. And, just like you, I have read so many similars in the past. I've never heard of the word 'cannon' before.  Thank you for your suggestion on both proofreading and pharsin my sentences. I'll take it to heart and try to work on a bit revising when I can get some more free time from work. And I'm very happy that you though my lemon was good. LOL





Reviewer: axel720 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 14, 2008 7:49 am
Chapter number: 1
Title: Chapter 1

Hahaha. You know no one ever mentions the fact that InuYasha is always waiting in the same place every time whenever Kagome stomps up to him demanding to know where he's been XD I'm glad you acknowledged it! I was beginning to think that I was the only one that noticed he's always up in the damn tree and she's always stupid enough to ask =p

That aside, I think this was a good try, but the plot is way too over-used (not that you can avoid it much when writing in a cannon setting). You mixed up your tense a lot, so maybe read your work out loud to yourself before submitting it to see if it sounds right, to see if you can add anything else etc.

Anyways, keep writing and you'll come up with some great stuff. Try to incorporate some of your own personal style into your writing to make it more interesting and unique.

Keep it up!

Author's Response: Well it is common sense when Kagome's gone. Yes, I agree with you on that point being the plot is over-used. And, as I have slready responded to my first review, I will be doing a revise on this piece. Thanks for your review.



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