Date: June 15, 2014 7:37 pm
Chapter number: 15
I enjoyed the attentiveness to Sango's state of mind after what happened with Muikotsu. It was very realistic - I say that as a victim of sexual assault, and I was terribly jumpy around other people as a whole, not just men, for several months afterward, and this year marks ten years since it happened and I'm finally coming to terms with it. Its one of those things that can actually change a person completely and alter aspects of their personality that you wouldn't expect. Anyway, this was a great chapter, and I can't wait for the next update!
I'm really sorry to hear that you went through something like that. I can "imagine" what that's like, but that's really all I can do. So I take it as a huge compliment that you consider it realistic. Sango is strong and will recover, but even the strongest people will take some time to recover from something like that. In the previous chapter I think Inuyasha assumed that she would be back to her old self in no time, but that was just naivete on his part (intentional, of course).
Date: May 28, 2014 9:56 am
Chapter number: 14
Title: Fire and Metal
Yay new chapter! I appologize for not reviewing last chapter I just didn't really know what to say. It was dark and horrible but the girls saved themselves and then Inuyasha helped save them the rest of the way and nothing irreversable happened so everyone should recover mentally as well.
Yay new chapter! I apologize for not reviewing last chapter I just didn't really know what to say. It was dark and horrible but the girls saved themselves and then Inuyasha helped save them the rest of the way and nothing irreversible happened so everyone should recover mentally as well.
Okay now for this chapter. First I think there was a word error about half-way through the chapter. It was approximately 3 paragraphs above a break "The hanyou didn’t need to look to know that Ginkotsu was aiming his gun. But Renkotsu’s words had filled his heart with renewed determination. His friends were alive. There was still time to save *him" I think you meant to use the word them instead of him here, I could be wrong but I wanted to point it out because you don't do that very often.
I had to go back and reread Inuyasha's thoughts in the last chapter at the beginning because you just dove right into the action but it was amazing. His internal battle with his youkai blood was so well written that I could picture and feel the struggle he was going through. His thoughts on Kagome loving him as a hanyou and then his realizing how sure he had been at that point before his insecurities came back was adorable.
I haven't read the manga so I don't know if it was different than in the anime but I thought Myoga saved them from the poison. I do realize it could simply be your twist on things but I was just trying to remember Shippou giving the rest of the group an antidote and I can't. That said having Inuyasha make Renkotsu give his friends the antidote was genius. It also showed more of how Inuyasha is maturing and thinking more than just reacting. I think part of the reason I love your stories so much is because you show him with more intelligence than a lot of authors give him credit for.
Shippou's determination to help save his friends was also extremely well written. As the reader, I could feel it and that, to me at least, is part of what makes a story great. When the author can make the reader experience the character's emotions along with them it just adds a whole new depth to the story.
The interplay between Kagome and Inuyasha at the end with his tears, her understanding and the kiss was both incredibly sweet and heart-wrenching at the same time, well done. It seems that they will continue to only get closer from this point on, as Inuyasha seems to have accepted the fact that he needs her with him.
I can't wait for the next chapter. Keep up the phenomenal work and have a wonderful week.
Ah, darn it. Yeah, that's a typo. In total, I proofread these things 3-4 times before posting, but sometimes I still miss stuff. I'll try to remember to fix that this weekend.
Myouga saves them in both the anime and the manga. I've never liked that part of the storyline because it's too much of an unlikely occurrence that he shows up exactly when they need him. The Inu-gang only survives because of an extremely lucky break. And that's not even mentioning how Sesshoumaru shows up to save them from Mukotsu, which I also removed. In this story, the Inu-gang rely more on their own skills and determination to see them through.
Shippou and Inuyasha are sort of similar, in a way. They both have moments of maturity and bravery, but they can also be incredibly childish. Both of them usually rise to the occasion when there is real danger about. I appreciate the comments and well-wishes. You also have a nice week (and weekend, since it's almost friday - yay).
Date: May 27, 2014 10:16 pm
Chapter number: 14
Title: Fire and Metal
Augh for some reason Renkotsu as the priest caught me off guard. Damn! Good job on this chapter. I kept mumbling "No more cliffhangers, dammit KB don't you dare leave us at a cliffhanger!" And I'm so glad you didn't!
Author's Response: Well, I can't do a cliffhanger every chapter. :)
Date: May 18, 2014 12:14 pm
Chapter number: 13
Love it, it was a great new chapter to the story. I love that part of the story were you wrote Sango in way that showed her woman's strength not a warriors bravery. Were she turn the table an put her self in danger to were she was going to get rape to protect her friend an the unborn baby. Sango's sisterly love for Kagome an a women's love an protection for a child showed a great side of her in the story. Love the story so for can't wait for the next chapter can't wait for what you do for the rest of the story keep up the great writing.
Date: May 06, 2014 10:27 pm
Chapter number: 12
Title: The Poison User
OMFG!!! I really, really, really hope we don't have to wait to long for the next chapter. That cliffy really scares me with you as the author, I've read all your stories and you can be evil sometimes even with the happy endings.
That said it was an awesome chapter. There were a few places that I wasn't sure if they were word mistakes or if it was just something that seemed oddly phrased to me, like in the beginning. "Jakotsu was a bit dim-witted, but was a decent enough traveling companion as long as you weren’t an attractive male, which unfortunately Mukotsu was not." I wasn't sure if you were reffering to Mukostu in general being disappointed with his appearance or if the word fortunately was meant to be intended here.
The fight between Jakotsu and Inuyasha was very well written and the trap was very well thought out. Mukostu seriously made me mad, he's intending to rape her but because she's pregnant now he's calling her a whore... someone really needs to pull out his jewel shard. Hopefully Inuyasha will come crashing into the hut soon, I'm not sure Kagome can handle much more without the baby being put at critical risk.
I can't wait for the next chapter, please keep up the fanstastic work.
Author's Response: Yeah, I can see how that could be confusing. I was going for the 'Mukotsu wishes he was good-looking' angle, but I could've made it more clear. And yeah, Mukotsu should make everyone mad. He's a total bastard, and I know I made him worse than he was in the series. But I couldn't help but feel that the canon was "toned down" from reality, you know? Even the manga, where Mukotsu insunuiates that he's going to rape her but doesn't get any farther than that.
Date: April 25, 2014 12:33 am
Chapter number: 11
Title: The Mysterious Doctor
You definitely managed to get creepy done very well in this chapter. Jakotsu almost seemed darker here than in cannon, although it's been a few years since I've watched that arc.
The byplay between Inuyasha and Kagome was very sweet, her guilt and his attempts to absolve her of it as well as their earlier argument and his asking if the baby was okay. Sango brought up a good point when she mentioned Kohaku and that was probably the best way to get Inuyasha to start to think from a different perspective.
I can't wait for the next chapter, although I have to say I was sort of hoping for Jakotsu to be taken out quickly, he's trouble. Keep up the fantastic work.
Author's Response: Jakotsu was darker, I think. I'm going for a more "adult" character, as in I don't have to worry about censorship or making sure things are okay for TV. So he'll probably end up being a little more sexual than in canon, as we've already seen.
Date: April 12, 2014 7:10 am
Chapter number: 1
Title: Blackout: Anatomy of a Lost Evening
Just a quick note to compliment you. This is a well done first chpater: Content: 10 Narrative Style: 10 Interest Level: 10 Literary Tension: 10 Plot Development: 10 Character Development: 10 You a correct in that Inuyasha does get drunk: He gets tossed into one of the Master of Potions sake jars in the episode where Sango gets her weapon repaired and Miroku is given a potion to protect him from feeling the pain caused by miasma and poison. In that episode he saw Kagome and some 'friends.' However, he very quickly recovered from the effects. NOTE: I read your novel, Entrapment while on medical leave. Couldn't stop into completed. It was amazing and it was a major influence on me trying my hand at fanfiction. Best Regards Koishii
Author's Response: Thank you for the review, and best of luck with writing your own fanfiction. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
Date: April 11, 2014 8:06 am
Chapter number: 10
Title: Of Wolves and Monkeys
Yay another amazing chapter, I was so excited to see the update e-mail earlier. I like how you handled the situation with Kouga, it was both simple and somewhat elegant. I think that Kagome's answer really was the best that could have been given, she was right that saying she loves Inuyasha in that situation would have been too much for him to handle. Although I have to say it would have been very amusing to see his reaction.
I also truly enjoyed the interplay between Inuyasha and Kagome regarding her uniform. Inuyasha's honest reaction to her out of it probably went a long way to help her heal from Kikyou's tirade. I'm curious as to how you're going to play her emotions the next time they are thrown together. As well as what you intend to do with the Band of 7. Keep up the amazing work, I can't wait for more.
Author's Response: It's funny, the chapter as originally written DID have Kagome declaring her love for Inuyasha. But then I took another look at it and decided it was too much too soon.
Date: March 29, 2014 3:02 pm
Chapter number: 1
Title: Blackout: Anatomy of a Lost Evening
I love this! Glad to see you're back in the saddle. This is Sunny BTW (sunsingergirl) and I can't figure out how to get into my old account ROFL. This is very amusing so far though. I need to start writing again myself but hard to get back to it with no internet where I live now. I'll be checking for updates though! Please keep going, this is a great one!
Author's Response: Hey, good to hear from you again. The story quickly stops being amusing after chapter 1, but I hope you like it.
Date: March 28, 2014 11:06 am
Chapter number: 9
Title: A Much-Needed Break
I had a feeling that her powers went dormant because of the baby, oops I mean 'pup'. I agree that her reiki did know on a certain level that she was pregnant. With her untrained, raw power, she would've killed the pup. Now that she has 'found' them again, she will be as dangerous as a mother bear protecting her cub. Watch out Kinky-ho, this bitch bites.
Date: March 17, 2014 5:46 am
Chapter number: 8
Title: Facing the Family
I can picture that, I'm not sure what the Japanese version would be either. Another great chapter, I wasn't expecting Mrs. H to respond that way, I'm not sure what I was expecting but that wasn't it. Keade almost seemed to take it better, maybe I'm just used to most people painting Mrs. H as a saint. I swear I'm not criticizing. :) All the marriage avoidance/talk there with her family was really cute though, especially given that Souta was the one able to bring it up.
I'm really curious as to what Keade's theory is going to be about Kagome's powers, especially since she seemed almost as surprised as Miroku that they were gone. I can't wait to see where you take them nex, keep up the amazing work.
Author's Response: Mrs. H is still a saint, just not an unrealistic one. I don't like it when people make her too accepting, like a cliche instead of a character. But that is how a lot of people portray her. Of course, people can agree or disagree on characterization, but that's my 2 cents anyway. :)
Date: March 03, 2014 10:52 pm
Chapter number: 7
Shippou standing up for Inuyasha there at the end was really cute, it shows an understanding between the two. Also even when she's angry with him Kagome is always the first person to stick up for Inuyasha so I can't imagine her being very happy with them. I am glad he cleared the air with her though. It was necessary for them to be able to move on.
Hopefully Kagome is able to keep her dreams and convince Inuyasha that he doesn't have to follow her but I would be happy at this point with her kicking the bucket early so he doesn't have to go. Although I wish he was able to take out some of his anger on the person that deserved it. You made Kikyou crueler than I have seen in a long time.
I can't wait for the next chapter. Keep up the amazing work.
I've been re-reading portions of the manga as I write this story, and I noticed that Shippou does in fact stand up for Inuyasha sometimes, especially against Kouga. I didn't remember it that way, but I decided to incorporate some of that because I agree that it's a nice dynamic.
Kikyou was crueler than I've seen her in a long time too. That chapter was one of the main reasons I had this take place fairly early in the canon. I hope I managed to keep her in character, despite the harsh reaction.
Date: February 12, 2014 4:12 pm
Chapter number: 5
Title: Make-ups and Missed Opportunities
What Kagome pregnant? To be honest it didn’t come to mind when I was reading this story. Like you mention in your note it never came up in the story I can’t wait to see what drama come out of this. Poor Kagome she’ll have to tell her mother. LOL I can’t wait to see how InuYasha deals with this!
Author's Response: Glad to see that at least one person wasn't on to me. :)
Date: February 07, 2014 8:22 am
Chapter number: 5
Title: Make-ups and Missed Opportunities
Another fantastic chapter. I'm excited to learn if that's truly the cause of her hidden powers and if they'll come back or not. Shippou's response was really cute. Poor Kagome, morning sickness sucks. Hopefully Inuyasha and Kagome can continue their current open communication that they've been following, it would definitely help the current situation but who knows if they have it in them considering each of their insecurities.
I can't wait to see what you have them doing next. Keep up the amazing work.
Author's Response: Yeah, I had fun with Shippou in this one. In some ways, he's wiser than the adults.
Date: January 25, 2014 7:04 am
Chapter number: 4
Title: Side Effects
I'm very excited about the modified Band of Seven arc that you have in store for us. I have to agree with you that Kyoukotsu would probably be much more of a challenge if you didn't know he had a Shikon shard and you just had to guess where it was.
I definitely wasn't expecting Kagome to loose her powers, I was expecting a pregnancy. I suppose that could potentially be the reason her powers aren't reacting if it's some weird combo of the partially youkai child in her womb counteracting them but I don't think that's it.
Although it's a bit of a shame that their first battle after that night was such a hard one making loosing her powers that much more of a hard situation than if it was some weakling. I can't wait for the next chapter. Keep up the amazing work.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. You definitely weren't the only one expecting it be revealed that Kagome's pregnant in chapter 4. I'm not giving anything away in that regard yet; it is still possible that she is. Kagome typically doesn't get involved in battles against weak youkai, so it had to be a difficult one for her to realize that her powers were lost.