Date: June 29, 2007 6:09 am
Chapter number: 1
Title: Compassionless: Escape to the New World
i think you need to work a little on blendeding your writing. this way ti is harder to get into it and forget im reading something. im not sure what it is, but read it over and you'll see that its somehow not as smooth as it should be. nothing a few revisions cant fix. on a more positive note, the idea is really unique, and im looking forwad to seeing where you go with it.