Date: May 06, 2010 5:08 am
Chapter number: 3
Title: Chapter 3 Meeting friends
OH CHRIST!!!! This makes me so happy! I'm a HUGE fan of the Harvest Moon series, and I swear, just reading this makes me gush big time. It reminds me of the time I first played Harvest Moon on the Gamecube--"Another Wonderful Life", which was the girl version. Oh, I went insane with it. Hands down, it is 100% my favorite RPG for any system! (They could have had better bachelors...) BUT LO AND BEHOLD! My prayers were answered when they released Harvest Moon on the Wii. I must have had a stroke in Gamestop on the spot because I didn't even KNOW about it! It was "Tree Of Tranquility" and I remember blowing money on a Wii AND the game, and the manual, lol! I was so happy! And LUKE!!!! WHOOOOOOO! MY FAVORITE BACHELOR!!!! He's just so damn adorable and so full of life! I was happy to meet all of the other bachelors too! I love them! And then, when the next game came out "Harvest Moon: Animal Parade", I was like, "Boo, same bachelors, sorta same gameplay, but...OH WAIT! NEW BACHELORS!" Including the Harvest King and this really hot guy called the "Wizard". I won't give away his REAL name, because I'm not a huge spoiler fan, but dear God, I seriously fell in love. I felt like I was betraying Luke in the first game. *Tear* He'll always be my love!! Oh...wow. Did I really just gush like that? Super embarrassed. My bad. Ahem! Anyway! I really cannot wait to see your update! I love this so much, and seriously commend you on starting a Harvest Moon/Inuyasha AU! Loves it! Much love, your fellow Harvest Moon fan,
Date: March 06, 2010 11:35 pm
Chapter number: 1
Title: Ch.1 Moving in
Welcome to Eternal Destiny. ^_^
Very cute start (Yasha's such an adorable grump!), and since the awesome Selina MacCloveror has already said all there is to be said con-crit wise, I'll just add this: Continue writing and finding your voice. Advice from a good beta will help, but only you can weave the tale, so have fun with it and don't take it too seriously. This is fan-fiction, after all, not the tryouts for a Pulitzer. 0.~
Date: March 05, 2010 1:05 am
Chapter number: 1
Title: Ch.1 Moving in
For your first fanfic, this isn't a bad start. I was confused in a few places, but I don't know anything about the game, so that might be why. When you're writing, try to look at it from the point of view of someone who knows nothing about the game, and that might help you in that regard. As a general rule, if you have to explain something in the author's notes, then it should probably be detailed in the body of the chapter instead. Of course, I'm a huge violator in that area, so take that for what you will. LOL
You're right, though - you need a beta, mainly just for commonly confused word errors, but if you're interested, there are some who can help you with your flow and organization, too. I know someone who was recently looking for beta work, as a matter of fact. If you want, I can send you their e-mail address.
Your story has potential, and it definitely sounds interesting - the plot isn't like anything I've read before. Very cute. ^_^ Good luck!
Thank you SO much for your review! I'd love to know where your confused at so I can fix it, and any other things that need fixing. One thing I'm always worried about is becoming redundant. I tend to take out what I deem obvious and I guess I need to go back and add a few details that I took out. Though some things like why I put what chara. where wouldn't really work and that's a big problem I have. I have 2 2/3 chapt.s done and I'd love to have the others fixed before I post them.
And I'd love their address! I don't like embarrassing my self with stupid mistakes that could have been avoided.>_<
I'm glad you like it, I was worried that since no one who would like Inuyasha would like harvest Moon so therefore, it would be too weird or simple and no one would give it a 2nt look. Thank you for reading and taking the time help me!~^_^~